


No Son Of Mine

by tifaching



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Crack, Humor, Kink Meme, M/M, Male Slash, Mpreg, Pregnancy, Slash, Wincest - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-09-17
Updated: 2011-09-17
Packaged: 2017-10-23 20:04:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 434
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/254363
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tifaching/pseuds/tifaching
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Written for a prompt on the SPN kink meme: Sixteen year old Sam gets twenty year old Dean pregnant and they tell John they want to keep the baby.  Picturing John's reaction to this just wouldn't let me go.  Totally non-serious m-preg.</p>
            </blockquote>





	No Son Of Mine

"You're what?" John roars, glaring at the boys on the couch in front of him. "I leave you alone for a couple of months and this is what I come back to?"

Dean slides over in front of Sam as quickly as his swollen belly will allow. "We're keeping it, Dad."

"Dean, don't. The baby." Sam whispers.

John thinks he would laugh if there were something even remotely funny about this. He thinks he saw a movie like this on one of those women's channels. The young couple sitting on the couch, holding hands, telling the parents that they're pregnant and they want to keep it. John's pretty sure the couple hadn't been related, pretty damn sure they hadn't both been boys and pretty fucking positive they hadn't been his sons.

"I thought that since I didn't have daughters, there was no way I'd end up with a pregnant, unwed child. I should have known that YOU," this last word is yelled directly into Dean's face, "would find a way to manage it."

"It's not like he did it all himself," Sam mutters.

"I wouldn't continue down that train of thought if I were you, Sam." John replies. "Now what did you two do while I was gone?"

"Um, I thought you didn't want to hear about that."

John sighs and wonders how these two have managed to reach the ages that they have, alive. "Dean, I changed your diapers remember? You don't have the right equipment to be pregnant. And even if for some ridiculous reason you were pregnant, how are you planning to deliver it? Men don't have babies. We can't. We lack the proper exit. I thought I explained all this to you when you were nine and we'd never have to speak of it again. Now what did you two get up to while I was gone?" He holds up a hand as Dean opens his mouth. "Besides that."

"Well," Sam says hesitantly, "right before we got, um, together, Dean was seeing Sandy from down the street."

"Sandy the sixteen year old daughter of the head of the local coven? That Sandy? And by seeing, I suppose you mean fucking?"

"Coven? Sandy's mom is a witch?" Dean neatly bypasses the last question.

"I know I told you that before I left,Dean."

"I must have misheard you. Dad, can't we please keep it?"

"Morning sickness, Dean. Swollen ankles, constipation, varicose veins. Unnatural spawn. Jerry Springer. Grab your gear and let's go pay the witch a visit. No son of mine is making the tabloids after the first male pregnancy C-section."


End file.
